It has been more than two months since my last posting. I have been asked multiple times lately why I haven’t been moved to post in light of all the wonderful things that have been happening. This morning a friend made a comment that hit a nerve. In the beginning of this journey to a new body and new life, it was exactly that, it was new.
Everything was exciting.
Each day was different.
Now I wake in the morning, look at myself, and see that all the changes are still occurring, but it is no longer NEW. This IS my life it is not an adventure of unexpected things. I know for certain that each day I will knock off my miles, I will eat pretty much the same things, I will feel a piece of clothing becoming too big and I will fall asleep not too long after the sun has set, since I rise before it does. And each day I greet the sun with the ever renewing energy and excitement for the love of all I have worked to accomplish! I am making decisions to be adventurous, to do things I would never have done before.
Many things have changed and occurred since I shared the last progress report and excitement of getting into Onederland (a.k.a. being below 200lbs). On July 3rd, 2017 I reached the monumental goal of losing a total 100 pounds since my surgery date of December 13, 2016. It was a day early for our nation’s Independence, but it definitely was a personal Independence Day for me!
Looking back to December I have shrunk from a size 24 to a size 14. I no longer have anxiety about flying because I don’t need a seat belt extender. I actually fly comfortably, even in the center seat!! I shoved my fear of heights aside and went parasailing two weeks ago. This past Sunday I completed over an 8 mile walk and am generally walking 5 miles each morning before work. This Saturday I will conquer paddle boarding, while visiting my sister in North Carolina, with a dear sweet friend who, though we have yet to meet, has been an inspiration and amazing cheerleader throughout my journey.
AND I am only beginning. North Carolina this week, Chicago in September, Orlando in October and New York in November. My “dance card” is filling daily as I check off things I have been waiting years to do!
So I am guessing you probably would like a status report. As advised by my surgeon, the weight loss is naturally slowing, and it will become more challenging the closer I get to goal. As a reminder where I began… HW 280lbs, SW 270lbs and drum roll……CW 171lbs. This is a total loss of 109lbs!! My next goal is to be in the 160s for the Chicago trip, which is very doable! The stalls have become longer, but I continue to work the plan and live the life I have embraced with love and devotion. My ultimate goal of 135 has been adjusted by my surgeon to 140, so in essence I am 31 pounds from goal. I feel confident I will reach that goal before my one year surgiversary on December 13, 2017. My loose skin continues to reshape and tighten, though I am aware there will be some excess skin that will probably have to be removed after the obligatory 18 months.
The interesting thing is that I know I have lost a person. I know I have dropped 10 clothing sizes. I know that I can feel my butt bones and spend time daily trying to get comfortable on my ever changing rear end. But the one thing I continue to struggle with is that I still do not see myself in this new body. I still see fat. I find it so difficult to look at the photo of me at 280 pounds. I really don’t remember being that big. Many friends have reached out to me during this process to say simple, “I never saw you as big” and I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that I didn’t either. I am sure there is possible psycho-therapy sessions that should follow a comment like that, but I continue to process my thoughts here for you and for all the world to see.
I want keep it relatively short today. I already have topics I will be visiting in the next few weeks as I rekindle my accountability journal here with you.
Before I leave you I would like to share both a suggestion that was made to me recently by someone I respect very much, as well as something that happened today.
This morning a childhood friend reached out to me via Facebook, she was not the first, but she was the first who was about to be wheeled back for sleeve surgery. She said, and I quote, “I just wanted to tell you because of your courage I’m now about have my sleeve done, just waiting for them to take me back. Thank you for filling me in on this and telling me how great it is.”
Now please know it was never my intention to promote the procedure. It is definitely not for everyone. You must be ready for the life changes that must occur to be successful. You must be committed to a life without carbs and sugars. You must be ready to make time for exercise. And you must be ready for the naysayers who think you have taken the easy way out, or want to know when you will be able to eat this or that. You must be stronger than you have been in your entire life. And if you are ready to do all of this, you will experience the joy of health, love for life and the excitement at the start of each day that is almost childlike!
That being said, this was purely a journal of my personal journey. Since its beginning I have had so many people who have reached out to share their own life changes since I began the blog, whether lifestyle changes involving diet or exercise, investigating the surgery for themselves, or setting goals they had feared previously.
For all of these messages of love, encouragement, and support I hope you know that daily you reinforce my goals, enhance my days and make me want to continue to better myself and to touch others. I carry you each with me at all times.
With all of this in mind, another dear friend has recommended I become a lifestyle coach for those choosing the gastric sleeve. I am in the early stages of pursuing this next chapter, but I wanted to share so you to know that I hear your words and that they continue to resound with me. You are each a part of my heart.