I sit in the dark of our hotel room listening to my mother talk. It’s 5:15am and we will be at the surgery center in less than two hours. Tears stream down my face as I touch my body and realize this blanket, this cover, that has surrounded me and protected me will soon begin disappearing. I didn’t expect this rush of emotion. It almost feels like grieving which I think in a sense it will be. I expected changes, but in my excitement I never thought of the loss. Not only the weight but exposing me, without the insulation, which has been my comfort. Now there will be nothing but me to hold accountable for the victories and defeats. It will only be me that people see. Not the fat girl who gets some extra slack. People will see ME.