Here I go…

I sit in the dark of our hotel room listening to my mother talk. It’s 5:15am and we will be at the surgery center in less than two hours. Tears stream down my face as I touch my body and realize this blanket, this cover, that has surrounded me and protected me will soon begin disappearing. I didn’t expect this rush of emotion. It almost feels like grieving which I think in a sense it will be. I expected changes, but in my excitement I never thought of the loss. Not only the weight but exposing me, without the insulation, which has been my comfort. Now there will be nothing but me to hold accountable for the victories and defeats. It will only be me that people see. Not the fat girl who gets some extra slack. People will see ME.

10 thoughts on “Here I go…

  1. Lisa, you are so smart and so strong. I have looked at you over the years and thought how pretty you are, how friendly, how much fun you are to be around, how much you do for your city and your community. Never once did I think of you as the girl you just described with tears rolling down her face in the hotel room. This is surgery and you are facing big changes and challenges and of course you are emotional, but when it’s over, I will still see see the same beautiful girl, but she will be healthier. Love you. 💕

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  2. Love and good thoughts to you today dear friend as you continue this journey. In my eyes there will only be physical changes because to me I always saw the real you: kind, caring, funny, giving, loving, beautiful person that you are. With time, I can only hope that you will see yourself as I have always seen you! Prayers sweet Tootie!!

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  3. Lisa,
    My thoughts & prayers are with you.
    You are brave, beautiful & now triumphant . I am so proud of you & honor your courage and resolve. You are loved by so many people and I am so happy to be one of the many.
    You have always been a light to so many of us and now it is time to let your light shown on you.
    Love to you,

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  4. We’ve never met, Lisa but I know your wonderful mother. From reading your posts, I realize you have much of her humor and strength in you. You are a gifted writer and using this, you seem to have prepared yourself well for this journey of a new stage in your life. Thank you for sharing this. Sending you and your family love and prayers for a fast, uneventful recovery and lots of patience!

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