On fear and preparation

The last two weeks have been somewhat of a personal struggle as I have wrestled with many fears. How to succeed in corporate finance class (finals are two weeks away), how I will manage surgery in the toughest module of the program which contains a Quantitative Analysis class, fear of failure and fear of success. I also wrestle with the person I am and will become as the shelter of my fat body changes and begins to melt away.

On the upside I have managed to survive the barrage of required tests which have included four different doctors offices in the last few weeks. I am worn down from completing medical forms. Tired of being poked and prodded. Now the sleep test is all that remains so in the last stretch I am at the mercy of someone else’s priorities. Patience has become my closest friend as I cannot control these things and move on to those I can.

The support group has been so vital in learning so many prep details for pre and post op life. As you can see from the photo above I am already stocking up on 3 & 4 oz containers as well as a mixer for the shakes/smoothies. I have been researching recipes, started a yoga program and am anxious to get back on the streets walking. I have had to open the office at 6am for the last week and a half for the painters and my walks were shifted to the sideline temporarily. Life is good for today and I have so much in front me!

And finally thank you menopause for these lovely changing hormones….

3 thoughts on “On fear and preparation

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